Saturday, 15 August 2015

Reflect and Refocus

I sat in retrospection of the long days spent devouring each and every letter within the textbooks that scattered my bed, deciphering meanings between the lines like a detective. Hands smudged in smoky black and dents formed in my hands where pressure was applied. As ink exploded upon paper in the midnight silence, I became desperate to articulate each thought in a sophisticated and formulaic style in order to please the education system.

My analytical cogs whirred as I tried to imbue the right technique into the essays that occupied and strained my clouded mind. My eyes burned and my head rhythmically pounded as I stared in hopeless naivety at the computer screen in the communal library, surrounded by students equally as weary, mind’s numbing at the pressure that loomed behind wet eyes and miserable smiles.

But now this hardship belongs to the past and I believe that there is a silver lining among us. And that silver lining, believe it or not, is results day. When it finally arrived, it acted as a metaphorical barrier between the concept of reflection over the past year and the goal of refocusing for the year ahead. And on Thursday 13th August, I crossed that barrier.


Results day, no matter how nerve-wracking, formed a revived sense of inspiration, instigating an odd craving to learn and a recharged ambition to prove that I’m worthy of the grades that I want. And in a bizarre way, this day was a necessity, because now I’m ready. I’m ready to scribble down my infinite to-do lists once again, I’m ready to inhale coffee in the early mornings and to eat far too many energy bars to keep me going. I’m ready to avoid falling in the trap of complacency and I’m sure as hell ready to be the student I know I can be.

Believe me when I say that I understand the inevitable risk of losing sight of what’s important, as I’m suffocated by sleepless nights and my dreams are suppressed by mental fatigue. But I’m hoping that when that feeling strikes, I can find the strength to reflect on the time before results day, remember that it’s all worth it in the end, and refocus on the future of hopeful success.

Behind the barrier is a lesson, but ahead of the barrier lies the unknown. And for once, I’m excited at the thought of that, because the unknown means that I have a choice in how I wish to shape my future. Thanks to results day, I now have a clearer idea of what I want my second year of college to entail, and I know that I’m ready to conquer it wholeheartedly.

{Photo source: Nabsticle}

4 comments:

  1. Yaaaasss
    I miss university so so much. I miss being able to live in that space where you are free to learn and enjoy learning, because we are so lucky to be able to.
    Best of luck for the coming year, and I hope you are proud of what you've achieved already :)

    Erin | comadiary

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    1. That's so true Erin, I think due to the stress and pressure we often forget how lucky we are to get an education because so many people are unable to. Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate it!!

      Nabeela :)

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  2. you have a gawjus blog here !!! had a good read :D great post :)

    would love a comment on my new video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3m5pQMJoLc

    have a wonderful day :)

    Jade

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, your comment made me smile! I just checked it out, it was really interesting and your bags are so pretty! You too lovely!!

      Nabeela x

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