|Photo credit: here & modified by Nabsticle|
It’s simply impossible to conjure up a single word that can describe the past sixteen years of my existence. A sudden mind-boggling thought bestowed itself upon me recently, something that utterly astounded me, and it’s this little thing called ‘change.’
I recall various chunks of my childhood whereas some moments have completely vanished into nothing but distant trickles of fragmented events. I remember the time when my brother and I hurriedly scoffed our dinner so that we could play outside with our friends and the long toilsome weeks we spent trying our utmost hardest to persuade our mum to invest in the addictive Tamagotchis. (I’d still play them if I could to be honest…) The time when we started our very own Writing Club where we wrote stories and attempted to make our own Pokémon characters… Should I just stop before I utterly mutilate my dignity?
It baffles me to think that my brother is soon going to be deciding on which University is right for him and constructing a carefully thought out career plan when around ten years ago our only worries were trying to decide which Nintendo DS game to play next. And what catastrophic craziness will happen when I move out? All of these pressurising decisions to make and obstacles to overcome are becoming much more real quicker than we originally expected and it honestly frightens me.
Why is it that whenever When You’re Gone by Avril Lavigne starts playing I get a warm tingling feeling or when I watch Harry Potter a small smile appears on my face because I remember paying for the cinema ticket to experience the magical journey for the first time all those years ago?
I remember a time when becoming a teacher would be a dream come true. Then later on a medical consultant, (that was until I realised how terrible I am at Science) and then even a psychologist came to mind. I can’t even begin to explain how much has changed, how much myself and my family have grown and the hardships we’ve had to plough through to get to the position that we are in today. The friendships that have fizzled away like a fizzy drink deflating into nothing but sugar and water and the phases I have gone through have all been vaporised into memories and lessons to be learned.
Nostalgia: A sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.
Reading Best Friends by Jaqueline Wilson, The Witches by Roald Dahl and the Goosebumps series by R.L Stine all rekindle heart-warming feelings because I remember being so happy reading those books. It’s crazy to think that those books are what got me into reading in the first place. Just think how all these small stages of your past have created this one beautiful human being who possesses different hobbies and personality traits along with various self-detrimental flaws.
Nostalgia is a funny thing; it fills our hearts with joy and longing for those good times to return because things can change as quickly as the weather and they soon become dismissive in our minds. I don’t want to forget yet simultaneously I don’t want to let it become a barrier to the future; there are a million more memories to make, friends to gain and love to share. As a teenager I want to enshrine these precious moments I have with my family and friends because once they’re gone they’re gone for good and there’s no chance of retrieving them.
When my brother moves out, my sister’s pick their A Level subjects and I start my first ever job it’s going to be tough. That nostalgic feeling is immensely gratifying but there’s an even more promising future right at our fingertips. Don’t be scared because change is good but never forget your past – they were the foundations that you have now built on brick by brick over the years that make you an individual.
“What seems real one moment is fiction the next and gone out of existence the moment after that. Nostalgia is the greatest enemy of truth and change our only constancy.” – David Budbill